The Legend of Groose
by nootylicious
Summary: Groose may be big-headed, slightly brutish, and a little dim, but his heart is certainly in the right place. His first experience of the surface world is a shock to him, but he soon learns to find friends in an unfamiliar new place. Although he may not be as brave, strong, or smart as Link, Groose wants to make a difference.
1. Chapter 1 - Down in the Dumps

Groose didn't like it.

Didn't like what, you ask?

Groose didn't know. But he didn't like it.

The last time he had seen Link, the pipsqueak had stolen his thunder again. He could easily have fought off that Imprisoned thing on his own, had he been given the chance. But Link had to come along, all high-and-heroic, and hadn't even given Groose the time to swoop in and save the day. Once again, it was Link's fault that Groose felt bad about himself. Yeah, this was Link's fault. Not his.

Yeah. It was Link's fault.

...

Groose sighed.

No, it wasn't. Link wasn't the one who caused the cold feeling that set itself in Groose's stomach the second that monster showed up. It wasn't Link that made every hair on Groose's muscular arms stand on edge. Link didn't paralyze Groose's legs so he couldn't move so much as a step.

It wasn't Link's fault that Groose was _scared_.

You know, if this were yesterday's Groose, he would have gotten angry, like he always did. The Groose from yesterday's sunny afternoon would have probably hit Link for making him feel these unknown feelings, and then he would have returned to his day-to-day life of lazing around and picking on the other students. But the Groose of today couldn't do that. Not after what he had seen.

He was shaken.

This wasn't like him. Why couldn't he just get angry? Why couldn't he laugh it off and try and find a way back to Skyloft? Why did he feel so _useless_?

He sighed again, and rested his chin on his hand, his legs dangling over the sheer drop outside the Sealed Temple. He had calmed down a little since Link had left, but he still felt weird. And not a good weird. Still, though, it was a nice day out, and that somewhat distracted him from his woes. The tiny birds were hopping around and making these weird tweeting noises.

Grooseland was really jarring to Groose. One of the main reasons being the tiny birds. Why were they so _small_? They'd probably be squished if Groose tried to sit on them, and they didn't caw, like the Loftwings. They seemed to like him, though. They had kept sitting in his pompadour all afternoon. He waved them off, though.

Another thing that really weirded him out was how much _space _there was. He'd climbed to the top of a tree to see if there were any ladders back to the sky, and had almost fallen out of it due to the sheer amount of space there was. There were trees that stretched on for ages. You could probably fit twenty Skylofts down here and there would be room for more. Also, the air was really weird, too. It smelt weird and earthy, and was way thicker than in Skyloft, making it feel more like he was eating it than breathing it. There wasn't any wind, either. Well, there was, but it was nowhere near as strong as it was at home. In Skyloft, you were in danger of being blown right off the town at any given moment. Down here, the wind barely rustled Groose's majestic pompadour.

All of those things combined to make Groose feel completely out of his depth.

He kind of wanted to cry. Between being so far from home in a place he had never seen before and Link's bravery making him feel completely inadequate, he sort of wanted to break down and wail like a baby. He couldn't do that, though. He'd never cried a day in his life, and he wasn't going to start now.

Link had already left. The old lady was back inside the temple, leaving Groose to his own devices. He didn't have anyone to talk to or pick on or order around like he did at home. His Loftwing wasn't around, so he couldn't even get back to Skyloft to tell everyone about what was going on.

He sighed yet again. So, what _could_ he do?

"Groose," came a creaky voice from behind him, breaking through his cloud of gloom.

Sulkily, Groose angled his head so he could look at the old lady out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" he asked sullenly.

"I came to see if you were all right," she said.

He huffily turned back around and firmly dropped his chin on his hand. "Oh, yeah. I'm great. What are you doing out here? Don't you got stuff to do? What do you need me for?"

He could hear her smiling.

"You are upset," she said, amused.

"Me? No, I'm just wondering. You guys got it all figured out. You don't even need me for anything. I should just go home." He glared grumpily at the seal at the bottom of the hole.

"You cannot go home."

"Huh." He huffed through his nostrils.

The old lady hobbled over to him until she was standing next to him.

"Groose," she told him, "what I said in the temple was in truth. You also have a role to play."

He looked up at her. "No, I don't. I'm just the academy beefcake. All I do is screw up and be a jerk and get yelled at. How could I help?"

"You are pure of heart."

Groose had no idea what that meant. Pure of heart? As in, he had a clean heart? Was that supposed to mean he was a good guy?

"I'm not! At home, I'm just a jerk! I push people around and goof up. If Link's the hero, then I'm the bad guy." He sighed and slouched over some more.

"Do you wish to atone for your past behaviour?"

Okay, he really had no idea what that meant. He didn't want her to know that, though, and pretended to stare deeply into the Sealed Grounds hole.

"If you wish to change your ways and become a part of this story, you must first accept that you have a role in it."

"I dunno what you mean about roles, Granny, but I don't think I could help out. I couldn't be useful. I'm just a big lug," he replied gloomily.

"Not if you continue to think like that. The most important part of beginning a journey is finding the confidence to do so," the old lady told him sternly.

"I got plenty of confidence. I just don't have a way to be useful. You don't need me here."

"Zelda needs you."

Groose quickly looked up at her at the mention of Zelda's name and opened his mouth.

She didn't allow him to speak, however, and quickly continued. "If we are to survive any further attacks by the Imprisoned, we must be prepared to defend ourselves should Link not get here in time. Perhaps we would need a weapon of some sort."

Groose shut his mouth and thought for a moment. "You mean... like a giant sword or somethin'?"

"Perhaps not. Maybe a projectile weapon. We would need someone strong to build it, however."

Groose failed to get the hint. "Huh. Yeah, I guess you would. Link would be useless for that, though. He's pretty scrawny."

The old lady smiled. "If only we had a tall, muscular individual."

"Yeah..." Groose looked pensive.

"One with a stubborn, determined attitude."

"That would be pretty useful."

"One who wears green and has a red pompadour."

"Yeah, I... wait. What would their hair and clothes have to do with it?" Groose asked, confused.

The old lady smiled at him again and made her way back towards the temple without another word, leaving a dumbfounded Groose sitting by the hole.

"Huh," he said to himself.

What did she mean by all that? Well, it didn't matter. He had to focus on finding something to do.


	2. Chapter 2 - Inspiration! Time to Shine

"Hey! Granny! I get it!" yelled Groose as he shoved open the heavy doors of the temple with ease. "Grannyyyy! You in here?"

The old lady sat meditating on the raised platform at the far end of the temple. She wearily opened an eye as the red-haired youth bounded up the steps to her.

"Granny! I get it now! I know what I can do to help out!" he yelled excitedly.

A couple of days had passed since the day Groose had arrived on the surface. He had spent those days moping around the Sealed Grounds, watching the tiny birds and occasionally complaining about wanting to return to Skyloft. However, it appeared that he had had an epiphany, which the old lady was glad to see.

"What do you plan to do, Groose?" she asked him.

"Well, have you ever heard of cannons?" he asked excitedly.

She shook her head.

"They're these things that go BOOM," (here, Groose made an explosion effect with his hands) "and stuff flies out of them. I think Professor Owlan talked about 'em in class once, but I wasn't really listening. Anyway, I was thinkin'. If stuff flies out of cannons, then I guess you could have people fly out of 'em, too, yeah?"

She nodded.

"Yeah! So, I reckoned that if I got a cannon, I could shoot myself back to Skyloft and tell everyone about all the bad stuff that's happening!" Groose finished his explanation with a clap and grinned expectantly at the old lady. "Great idea, yeah?"

She nodded slowly, contemplating his idea. "But, Groose. Did you not want to help? Do you not wish to accept your role?"

His expression of excitement slowly faded into disappointed confusion. "But... this is helping! I can let everyone know what's happening so they can prepare themselves if stuff goes wrong."

"Are you truly certain that this is what your destiny is?" she asked him seriously.

"Well... yeah! That's the only way I can help out." He began to look uncertain of himself.

"I am sure what fate has in store for you is grander than that."

"No way. The only thing a knucklehead like me is good for is being a messenger boy." He chuckled weakly.

The old lady studied him.

"Is this what you believe?"

Groose shrugged noncholantly. "Yeah, I guess."

She nodded slowly.

"Then, so be it. You may begin construction on your cannon. I wish you the best of luck."

"Aww, right! Thanks, Granny!" Groose grinned widely and jogged towards the heavy temple doors. The old lady watched after him, then returned to her meditation. Before pushing the doors open, however, Groose suddenly stopped and hesitated for a while. Then, he turned around and jogged slowly back to the old lady.

"Um... Granny?" he asked sheepishly.

Wearily, she replied, "Yes, Groose?"

"What do I use to build a cannon?"

She sighed inwardly.

"Go to the Kikwis of Faron Woods. They can help you," she told him, then returned to her meditation.

Groose's brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of his instructions. What was a 'kikwi'? And more importantly, what were 'woods'? He strained his memory in the attempt of remembering any one of Owlan's classes. Darn it, this was why Link was the hero. Sweat began to break out on Groose's brow from the sheer effort of such strenuous thinking. Then, he got it. It was faint, and a little sepia-tinted, but he finally dredged up a memory.

_A 15-year-old Groose sat in the back row, picking his zits and flicking them at the back of Fledge's neck. At the top of the classroom, Owlan was deep in a lecture, drawing some trees on a blackboard to accompany him. Not that it mattered. What did matter was that Zelda was in perfect view, sitting at the front between Link and Karane. Groose sighed dreamily. Owlan said something else, and Zelda raised her hand. Oh, oh, she was going to speak! Groose strained his ears as Zelda stood up and cleared her throat._

_"Woods are a large group of trees that could be found below the clouds in ancient times. They were also called 'forests', Professor."_

Ah, so _that _was a 'woods'. Apparently, they weren't just ancient things. Groose wondered if Zelda had seen any woods while she was down here. She probably would have loved them.

He shook himself out of his daydream and grinned at the old lady.

"Thanks, Granny!"

There was no reply.

"Granny? Hey, Granny, you listening?"

Still no reply. Groose was about to shake her, but then clamped both his hands to his mouth.

"Oh! Oh, sorry! You're doing that meditating thing, huh? Okay. Sorry. I won't say another word. Thanks for the advice, Granny. I'm going. To the woods. Thanks. Bye!" he whispered loudly, tiptoeing clumsily towards the western door of the temple.

After Groose clanked the heavy doors closed, the old lady gave a world-weary sigh to herself.

Groose slammed the doors behind himself and grinned excitedly. What a day! He had been out this way a couple of days ago. This was where he and Link had landed on the surface. Back then, Groose had probably made himself look pretty stupid, yelling and screaming like that. He had been completely overwhelmed by all of the things on the surface; the tiny birds, the trees, the ground, that rock thing. However, now that he had had a couple of days to get used to everything, there would be no yelling or screaming or getting overwhelmed. Groose was in the mood to explore.

He raced off down the path under the warm sunshine, whooping with joy. He knew what he was going to do now! He could finally quit moping around and get himself back home. After all, what else could he do? Link could take care of that Imprisoned thing if it appeared again. That was Link's job. Groose's job was lazing around at home. And soon enough, he would be home, and all thanks to his handy-dandy cannon.

Groose's exhilaration was cut short by a sheer drop that he had failed to notice until it was too late.

Groose groaned. He had landed with a whump and a strange squeaky noise on something surprisingly soft. A pillow? Did they even grow pillows down here? He checked beneath his chiselled derriére to see a small, squishy brown thing, lying crushed beneath him. It had some flattened leaves on its back, and it wasn't moving.

A... cushion? Maybe? Did cushions squeak? Groose wasn't really sure. He'd never payed attention to what noises cushions made. He decided to try and poke it or something. Tentatively, he nudged it with his boot. It didn't move. Groose carefully picked up a stick and was about to poke it some more when it reared a little head and looked up at Groose.

Groose began to scream.

The thing screamed back.

They both screamed at each other for a while, until Groose, still screaming, picked up the thing and punted it over a tree. The screaming continued until a distant whump could be heard and the noise stopped.

What the _hecky _was that?

Groose needed to sit down.

No. Now was not the time for his mind to implode. He had to go and find those Kwee-Kwees. So he dusted himself down, spruced his pompadour up, and set off into the woods, arms a-swinging.


	3. Chapter 3 - Groose Makes a Truce

When Groose first set foot into the Faron Woods, he was a little confused. First of all, there were even more trees than he had expected. Secondly, he had never smelled a smell like the smell of the woods before in his life. Third of all, he was surrounded by screaming red things with clubs.

"Hey, whoa, there, guys. Might wanna mind yer manners, there. I'm a pretty important figure," Groose cautioned. The red thingies didn't seem to understand Groose's importance, so he decided to explain. "You guys know I'm gonna be the one to help save the world, right? Might wanna show some respect. The name's Groose, by the way."

He stuck out a burly hand for one of the thingies to shake. Shockingly, it rejected Groose's uncharacteristic show of good manners, which was enough to stun Groose on its own. However, it then elected to swing its club at him. Groose jumped back in alarm, and in the process, tripped and landed roughly on his rump. The club narrowly missed him, embedding itself in the dust between his legs.

Groose stared at the club in disbelief. Did that really just happen? Did someone really just act violently towards him, Groose? Didn't they know he could give them the pounding of a lifetime if he wanted?

Groose cleared his throat. This time, he would give them the benefit of the doubt and just say that it was a mistake. He pulled himself to his feet and dusted down his pants.

"Nice shot, guy. You seem pretty strong. Duh huh huh. Anyway, my name's Groose. What's yours?" Again, he charitably extended his hand which had won countless thumb wars and which no one would want the wrath of unless they were Link.

The red thingies began to scream at him and wave their clubs around. Groose could see the situation could possibly get ugly, and he really didn't like the aggressive looks the thingies were giving him. It looked like they were Groosing for a bruising. He rolled up his sleeves.

"All right, then. You fellas seem to think you're pretty tough. Just so you know, though, I won the Academy arm-wrestling championships six years in a row." Groose hoped that his bravado would be enough to scare them, even though he was starting to feel a little intimidated himself. "I can take on half-pints like you! Bring it!"

Groose hunkered down and planted his elbow in the dirt, and waited for one of the thingies to accept his challenge. However, it seemed they weren't interested in arm-wrestling. Another two of them swung their clubs at him at the same time. Groose yelled and quickly rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the clubs, which thunked off the ground right next to his head. He scrambled to his feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Somethin' tells me you guys aren't gonna play it clean! Lay off the beatings, okay? Otherwise, I might have to give you a pounding," he warned. They ignored him, and began to close in around him. Groose looked around at them, panicked. Sure, he had gotten in a couple of fights before. Okay, maybe not _fights_. More... conflicts. One-sided conflicts. Okay, it was only beating up Fledge and Link. That meant that he really wasn't used to his target fighting back. What was he even supposed to do in these situations? How could he convince them to back down and respect him before someone got hurt?

Then, it dawned on Groose. He'd already seen from that Imprisoned thing that not everything beneath the clouds was friendly. These guys didn't seem that friendly, either. So maybe that meant that they _wanted _someone to get hurt. Namely, Groose.

Groose began to sweat. He saw these thingies in a whole new light. Their clubs looked dangerous. Their expressions looked menacing. They looked like they could and would fight back if Groose picked on them. In fact, they looked like they could wipe the floor with him. These guys were above the schoolyard bullying tactics that Groose was used to. In fact... it looked like they could _kill _him.

Faced with the prospect of injury and maybe even death for the first time in his short life, Groose was met with two options. One: he could do what he did at home. Assert his dominance, show the thingies who was boss, overpower them with his superior height and (it seemed) muscle mass. Or, two: he could run.

"You guys win this time, but next time, I'll come out on top! I've seen Blessed Butterflies with more muscles than you!" Groose yelled over his shoulder as he legged it deeper into the woods, the thingies screaming and chasing him on their short legs.

Groose ran and ran, and didn't tire for a long while (thanks to his cardiovascular ability attained through many long hours of benchpressing couches). When he did get tired, however, he first checked behind him to see if it was safe to stop running. It was. He slowed to a jog, then stopped altogether.

He looked around himself in wonder. It was green here. Not the pale, windwashed green of the four or five skinny trees of Skyloft, but a deep green that looked as rich and nutrient-filled as Groose's pompadour. There were even more tiny birds around here, and they flitted from tree to tree. One landed gently on the tip of his pompadour. Groose didn't have the heart to wave it off, and it remained there as he ventured deeper into the woods.

"Kwee-Kwees!" yelled Groose at the top of his lungs, causing various tiny birds to alight from their trees in alarm. Where were they? He still had no idea what a Kwee-Kwee was or where he could find one. Could they speak Hylian? How would he know what they looked like, anyway?

"Kwee-Kwees!" he bellowed again.

"Um, 'scuse me, mister. Are you looking for the Kikwis?" came a small, high-pitched voice from behind him.

Groose turned around. There was nothing there.

"Um, down here."

He looked down and saw the squishy brown thing from earlier, standing innocently before him. He began to scream again. The thing screamed as well. They both screamed for a while until Groose clamped both hands over his mouth to silence himself.

"Were you looking for the Kikwis?" the thing repeated, seemingly unfazed.

Groose nodded, repressing the urge to kick the thing over the nearest mountain.

"Well, mister, you're looking at one." It pointed to itself.

"You're a Kwee-Kwee?" Groose asked incredulously. He was a little disappointed. He had been hoping they would be able to breathe fire, or at least do _something _cool.

"Yup. Kikwi. That's me. Kwee-paleep."

"Oh," he replied, a little underwhelmed. Well, what now?

"What didya need me for?" the Kikwi asked.

"Uh, I was hoping that you guys would help me find stuff for my cannon. The old lady in the temple sent me," Groose explained.

"Ohhh! Im-" the Kikwi began to squeak in recognition, but cut itself off by covering its beak. "Okey dokes, kweep. You should come with me to meet our leader. He'll help." The thing nodded sagely.

"Okey dokes," Groose replied, and instantly got annoyed with himself for copying the Kikwi's speech quirks. "Oh, uh, I'm Groose, by the way."

"I'm Machi, kwee kwee." Groose almost had to double over to offer his hand to Machi. Machi didn't accept his second offer of good will that day, however, and instead pulled him along by the hand. It sort of seemed that handshakes weren't a thing down here, Groose came to realize.

"You know, mister," Machi said to Groose as they walked, "you aren't the first tall thingy to show up here. We got another one the other day."

"Uh... oh," Groose replied. Probably Link.

"Yup yup. Shorter than you, and searching for a friend. It was a real nice tall thingy. Really polite, too! It helped me find my friends." Machi whistled happily.

Yup. Definitely Link. He was a scrawny little pipsqueak, but he was always jumping in to help people. He kept finding lost stuff for people back in Skyloft, and was always carrying stuff for the old hag in the kitchen. He and Zelda even babysat Kukiel once or twice when she was a baby. Maybe that irritatingly helpful attitude was one of the reasons Groose hated the runt. It made him feel even worse about himself.

"Uh," Groose grunted. Just thinking about Link put him in a bad mood. "Hey, are we there, yet?"

"Almost!" Machi replied cheerfully. "We just have to cross here."

"Cross wh..." Groose began to ask, but slowly trailed off once he saw where they were standing. Groose's boots had accidentally sent a couple of pebbles tumbling off of the edge of the cliff and clattering in the dust below. Groose carefully poked his head over the edge. It was a long drop. He began to sweat. Sure, there were falls longer than this in Skyloft. It was a floating town, for Hylia's sake. But in Skyloft, there were the Knights to rescue you if you fell. And in Skyloft, you couldn't see how far you were going to fall.

"U-uh, how are we going to get across?" Groose asked nervously. Machi pointed above their heads at a skinny vine hanging over the drop.

"You can just swing across like that!" it told him cheerfully.

"Right, right, okay. Okay. I can't do that. No way," Groose said flatly, crossing his arms and standing rigidly. He tapped his feet in the dust to try and distract from the fact that he was shivering.

"Sure you can!" Machi encouraged. "The short tall thing from the other day could do it, no problem!"

"The short tall thing from the other day is half as big as me!" Groose protested. "That thing'd snap in a second!"

"No way, mister. That vine hasn't snapped once in all the years we've been using it."

"Yeah. Okay. How many years have you been using it, exactly?" he asked flatly.

"Um, well, it's older than our elder, so... Maybe over a hundred? Maybe?" Machi tried, then, seeing Groose's ashen face, realized that really wasn't helping its case. "But it's super safe! It can hold ten of those scary red guys! I saw them swinging around on it."

"And how are you gonna get across, huh?" Groose asked, still unconvinced.

"Well, uh, I guess you can just throw me across, easy-peasy."

"Nuh-uh. No way. If I'm swingin', you're swingin'."

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Machi said, vaguely alarmed.

"Sure it would. You said this thing was super safe," Groose grunted and scooped up Machi in his muscular arms.

"No! Let me doooown!" squeaked Machi, flailing around.

"Right, so do I just grab this thing?" Groose muttered and reached for the vine. He gently tugged on it to test how strong it was. It seemed durable enough. Groose relaxed a little, but he was still apprehensive.

"Please! Please, just throw me across! What if it breaks?" Machi wailed.

"You're the one who just said it wouldn't break!" Groose yelled. "Look, I'm gonna do it, okay? Hold on tight, green-bean."

"What's a green-be-" Machi asked, but was cut off as Groose jumped.

Groose and Machi screamed as the vine swung over the drop. Groose clung to the vine, and Machi clung to Groose. Groose's pompadour was buffetted, causing the bird in it to become alarmed and fly away. They both continued to scream as the vine slowed until it completely stopped swinging.

"Please, please, please let me off!" screamed Machi.

"No! If we fall, I'm usin' you as a landing cushion!" Groose screamed back.

They both shut their eyes tight and continued to scream.

After about five minutes, Machi squeezed open an eye and looked down. It realized they weren't going to get anywhere if they continued doing what they were doing.

"Ok, ok, mister, we gotta calm down," it wailed. "Mister, stop screaming!"

Groose's screams trailed off. He opened an eye, and seeing the ground below, started screaming again.

"Mister, no! Calm down!" Machi yelled. Groose shut his mouth and listened to Machi while clinging to the vine and whimpering.

"Okay, mister, you gotta swing your legs," Machi explained as clearly and calmly as it could.

"What!" yelled Groose, accidentally shaking the vine and swinging them a little, causing them both to scream again. He clung on tighter, and whispered, "You gotta be kidding me! I'm holding on with my legs!"

"Hold on with your arms! You have to swing your legs to move us!"

"No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna fall," Groose protested.

"Look, do you want to get across or not?" Machi hissed. Groose shut up and tried not to look down. He swallowed hard.

Okay. Okay. He could do this. He swallowed his fear, and gently swung his legs. The vine swung with him. He wanted to freeze up and cling on to the vine with his legs, but he didn't. Okay. He could definitely do this. He'd already made some movement. He was doing well. He swung his legs again, and the vine made a wider arc this time. Hey, this was actually kind of fun. He swung his legs again, harder this time, and they began to swing widely back and forth. Groose chuckled to himself.

"What are you doing? We'll fall!" Machi hissed.

"We won't fall, green-bean. I know what I'm doing," Groose laughed. "Wahoo!" They swung back and forth and back and forth, higher each time, and Machi began to scream again. "You were right! This is fun!"

"I never said it'd be fun! Let me doooown!" Machi wailed and flailed around, trying to wriggle out of Groose's grip.

"Hey, calm down-" Groose cautioned, but Machi slipped out of his arms and into the air with a small pop. Groose yelled, and tried to catch it, letting go of the vine in the process. Fortunately, they were both above the other side of the drop when they fell, and Groose landed on top of Machi with a squeak for the second time that day.

There was silence for a while.

"Huh," Groose said to himself, staring up at the blue sky as he lay on his back. "That was fun." He pulled himself to his feet and began to wander around, searching for a way to go. Machi groaned.

"That was... that was NOT fun," it squeaked weakly.

He spun on his heel to address the squashed Kikwi.

"Come on, green-bean. Up and at 'em. We got your leader to find, remember?" He picked Machi up by the scruff of its neck and patted the dust off of it. "You can't spend all day sleeping around. You're starting to seem like Link."

Machi didn't even have the energy to ask who that was, and let Groose sling it over his shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4 - Woodent You Like To Know

To be honest, Groose had expected the Kwee-Kwee leader to be a little more grand. He had already resigned himself to the fact that regular Kikwis couldn't breathe fire or do anything remotely cool, but he was hoping that at least their leader could impress him. However, he was sorely disappointed when he and Machi came across a raised clearing.

"Uh, Machi?" Groose asked the brown lump slung over his broad shoulder.

Machi raised a tired head. "Yes?"

"Is this it?"

"Is what it?" asked Machi a little irritatedly. "I can't see from back here, y'know."

Groose reached over his shoulder and gently grabbed Machi by its bud. Machi winced in pain, its bud being a tender spot, but realized that flailing around and squeaking would do no good. It allowed the red-haired youth to suspend it several feet off the ground, and looked around.

Machi looked blank.

"What am I supposed to be looking for?" it asked carefully.

"Huh? What do ya mean?" Groose asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He motioned to the enormous, chubby brown thing that lay unceremoniously in the centre of the clearing. "That."

"Sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

Groose looked bewildered at the thing, then at Machi, then back to the thing. How was Machi not seeing this? It was enormous. Like Machi, except only twenty times bigger. The tiny bud on its back was open, revealing a tiny bush in various shades of green.

"Are you sure you don't see it?" Groose asked again, brow furrowed. Machi shook its little head. "I mean, it's right there... Really? No joy?" Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought. Without asking, he placed Machi back on his shoulder, and cautiously edged towards the thing to check if it was real. He picked up a stick and poked it, gently at first, but then, when it solicited no response, he decided to attempt rolling it onto its back. He bent his knees and wormed his hands in under the thing's stomach. As he was about to straighten up and heave it over, he felt a strange tremor run through the thing, followed by an even stranger sound. It sounded sort of like Gaepora when he was mad at Groose, except with the opposite intonation. Sort of like... a giggle?

Gross.

The sound grew louder the more Groose attempted to roll the thing over, until finally, the bush on its back receded back into its bud with a sharp "shh" sound and it rocked itself to its stubby feet.

"Kyoo hoo hoo," it gurgled to itself.

For some reason, Groose felt a little uncomfortable around the thing. Maybe it was the way that it looked a lot like Machi, only twenty times uglier. It somehow managed to look like Machi and a middle-aged man at the same time, with what seemed to be a receding hairline, drooping beak, deep voice and long moustache. All of that was a weird mix when compared to Machi's cute form, but it wasn't just that. Groose was mostly uncomfortable with its sheer _bulk_. He particularily hated it when something was bigger than him. Height was a pretty important part of making someone feel small, after all, and this thing looked like it could squish him just by looking at him.

He glanced down at Machi , fully expecting the little plant thing to be cowering in fear at the enormous creature. However, it was proved the opposite. True, Machi's beak was hanging open, but only in amazement.

"Leader!" it choked out after a while of staring dumbly. "Where did you come from?"

"Kyoo hoo hoo," it gurgled again, "I was here the whole time, young Machi. I blended in with the woods perfectly, thanks to my camoflage."

"Wow!" exclaimed Machi. "I guess I should have expected that, leader! You're super cool!"

"Hoo hoo. You'll make me blush."

Groose watched the whole weird exchange with an expression of greater confusion than usual. Then he remembered that he had business with the enormous thing, and cleared his throat.

"Uh," he interrupted dully. The Kikwi leader paused and angled its head to stare bemusedly down at Groose. It seemed a little irked that he had interrupted Machi's flow of praise. Groose cleared his throat again. He was beginning to feel a bit nervous. Kwee-Kwees were friendly, right? Then why was this thing giving him the stink eye? At least he didn't think they were carniverous, so he shouldn't be in any danger. Hopefully. After all the things that had happened today, he was a bit skeptical of anything that lived down here.

"Who might you be?" the leader drawled, breaking through Groose's suspicious thoughts.

"Uh, Groose." Groose thought to offer his hand, but remembered that nobody really cared about manners down here. He absent-mindedly picked his nose. "Granny told me I can go to you for materials. I'm buildin' a cannon." He removed his finger from his nostril and flicked his findings away.

The leader wrinkled its nose in disgust. "My name is Bucha. I am the leader of the Kikwi tribe." It hastily looked down at Machi with a questioning look.

"Oh," Machi mumbled guiltily. Suddenly agile, it scampered up Bucha's hulking frame and whispered into where Groose guessed its ears were. Bucha listened, then nodded in comprehension, and Machi slid down its back.

"Leafless Groose," Bucha said in a surprisingly authorative voice, "what is it that brings you here?"

"I just said," Groose said dully. "I'm buildin' a cannon. Do you have wool in your ears or something?" That is, if Bucha had ears at all.

Bucha didn't seem to like that remark, but continued anyway. "For that, you'll need wood."

"Why?"

"For... for your cannon."

"Why'd I need wood for that?" Groose didn't understand. This was already shaping up to be a more confusing task than he had anticipated. He sort of been hoping that there would be cannon parts lying around that he could piece together, but it looked like he had to build one from scratch.

"Have you ever built a cannon?" asked Bucha in disbelief.

"Why would I have ever built a cannon?"

Bucha exhaled loudly.

"Machi, help our young friend find some wood," Bucha ordered. Machi nodded, and led Groose off into the woods. "Make sure it doesn't die, either," it added wearily after they had left.

* * *

><p>"So, uh, that. That was a thing," Groose remarked as he followed Machi further still into the woods. He glanced behind him to see that Bucha had already flopped down onto its stomach again and was basking in the sunshine.<p>

"You mean our leader?" Machi nodded proudly. "They're super cool. The best hider in the whole forest. Nobody can find them once they're hidden. One time, they went missing for an entire week! That caused some confusion, let me tell you."

"Oh." And some people called Groose unobservant. "So, uh, is your leader like your dad?"

"What's a dad?" asked Machi, confused. Groose stared down at Machi, thinking it was joking. It wasn't.

"If you don't have moms or dads, then how are you guys born?" he asked.

"I dunno what you mean about 'born', but we Kikwis just sprout up from the ground, like any other plant. Why? Don't you guys come from the ground, too?" Machi looked up at him innocently.

"Uh." How should he explain this? How _could _he explain this? "No, we don't."

"Then how _do _you appear?"

Groose began to sweat. He glanced sidelong at Machi. "Well, you see..." He searched for an explanation. Hadn't one of the professors talked about this in class? He couldn't remember. Had he been listening? Did it actually happen, or did he dream up the entire lesson? Okay, okay. Babies came from...

It hit Groose like one of the ladles that Henna the kitchen lady used to throw at him whenever he tried to sneak extra helpings. He had no idea. He had no idea where babies came from. All he knew was that it was an Extremely Touchy and Embarassing Subject. When he tried asking around Skyloft as a kid, everyone skirted around the question. Then, when Gully was born and Groose was all grown up, he decided to ask Piper where she got her new baby. She just laughed at him. Probably thought he was kidding. However, to this day, he still had no idea where Gully or any of the other kids in Skyloft came from. Well, Machi didn't know either, so there'd be no harm in regurgitating the spiel that was so frequently thrown at him as a child.

"Well, you see. When two people love each other very, very much, they go and they send a letter to Hylia. And she... uh, she sends out a Loftwing, and the Loftwing has a baby in its bill." He glanced down at Machi. It seemed to be taking his every word as truth. "And then the Loftwing drops the baby in the river, and it turns into a tadpole and swims into a mommy's stomach. Then she pushes her bellybutton and they harvest the baby from a pumpkin patch." He exhaled in relief. He'd probably mixed up a couple of the versions he was told, but it made no difference to Machi.

"So, you do come from the ground, then."

"Huh?"

"You said baby tall things get harvested from the pumpkin patch. So that means you do come from the ground," Machi said matter-of-factly.

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, we do."

"Looks like Kikwis and tall things got more in common than I thought!" Machi said cheerfully.

Groose nodded slowly. Machi was so oblivious, he almost felt bad for the little guy. Still, though, it probably still thought he was cool. His reputation was safe. He didn't have any time to bask in his pride, though, because Machi suddenly stopped.

"What?"

"It should be around here somewhere." Machi furrowed its little brow, drawing Groose's attention to the fact that it had one. It begun looking around, sniffling its beak slightly.

"What are you lookin' for?"

"A pile of wood. A tree fell down in the storm the other day, and we sort of kept it. Just in case. Anyway, I disguised it so no bad guys could find it and take it away." Machi hummed thoughtfully to itself and sniffled around the clearing a little more.

Groose thought to mention the large pile of wood in the centre of the clearing that had a couple of leaves flung over it, but then thought better of it.

After a couple of minuted of Machi hoo-ing and hah-ing clueless around the place, though, he decided it would be for the best.

"Wow!" exclaimed Machi, once the wood had been pointed out to it. "That's the second time today that you found something hidden, mister! I think we're gonna have to name you the hide-and-seek champion of the forest."

"Huh huh." Groose puffed up his chest in pride, forgetting that that was really no great feat if the only hiders in the forest were Kikwis. "Well, I used to be king of hide-and-seek back home. No one could escape me!" And no one could. Especially Fledge. Groose had to think hard to remember his times at the Academy, even though he had been absent only a few days. Fledge would try to hide everywhere; on the roof of the Academy, in the kitchen with Henna, a few times even in the baths. But Groose would always find him. _Found ya, Fledgey boy!_ he would yell with glee, and Cawlin and Strich would hold him down. Eventually, the kid had stopped showing up at meals, and he flinched whenever Groose and co. came near.

Groose remembered his 'sessions' with Fledge with a twinge of guilt now. It was just a bit of harmless play, right? Roughhousing. That was what he had kept telling himself. Fledge never complained, so Groose had always taken it as an invitation to keep going. But now, his entire moral compass had been set askew by the shock of the other day, and he was starting to think that he'd maybe been a bit of a jerk. Groose's pride at being called a hide-and-seek champion faded. Empty, useless title, really. He'd have to remember to apologize to Fledge when he got back to the Academy.

"Hey, could you carry it?" Machi asked.

"All that?" Groose exhaled slowly. The pile of wood came up to the base of his pompadour. "I mean, yeah, but... there's a lot."

"Well, I can't carry it. It'd squish me," Machi told him matter-of-factly. "Besides, you told me you were strong."

Despite never remembering telling Machi such a thing, Groose flexed in an attempt to make his muscles look bigger and scoffed, "Yeah, of course I am. It's no problem for me." Machi looked up at him, and he flexed harder, making his biceps bulge.

* * *

><p>And that was how Groose ended up on his tenth trip from Faron Woods to the Sealed Grounds with an armful of wood. It turned out there was a certain knack to using the vine over the gap, and Groose had mastered it. Naturally. Machi followed him steadfastly on each trip, making conversation and occasionally pointing out things that it thought Groose didn't know about, like mushrooms and rocks. It turned out that four other Kikwis lived in Faron Woods. Machi explained animatedly about his friends Erla, Oolo and Lopsa, and the day-to-day antics that they got up to together. The stories mostly consisted of new hiding places they found and the development of Oolo's apparent allergy to stress. He didn't say much about the fourth Kikwi, but Groose gathered it was pretty important from the reverant way Machi spoke about it.<p>

"...So then the Elder said, 'don't tell the Water Dragon I told you that, or she'll have me for lunch!' Aren't they funny? I've never seen Her Ladyship eat a Kikwi! Oh, by the way, that's a Blessed Butterfly. Have you ever seen one before?"

"That's the third one you pointed out. Yeah, we have 'em at home. Tons of 'em." Groose stifled a yawn. Not that he wasn't having a surprising amount of fun listening to the little Kikwi speak fondly of his friends, but the sun was starting to set.

"Oh," Machi replied, looking a bit stunned. "I was almost sure you said you'd never seen one before. Hey, how many more loads do you have left to bring?"

Groose tried to do the math, but remembered he hated math. He shrugged. "A few."

"Okay. You might wanna leave the rest for the morning, mister."

"Why?"

Machi seemed troubled. "I dunno. It can get sorta crazy in the woods at night. Those red guys like going around the forest and looking for trouble. Just take my word for it, mister, it isn't safe."

"Oh." Good thing Machi told him that. He would never, ever, ever admit it, but Groose sort of didn't want to run into those red guys again. Not that he couldn't knock them silly, of course. It was just that he hated it when people ganged up on other people. He wanted a fair fight with those squawky red things.

They reached the vine-covered wall outside the temple. Groose chucked the pile of wood over the top of the wall face, then grabbed Machi and slung it over his shoulder without warning. He began to climb up the wall, huffing a little. Once he reached the top, he dropped Machi face-first on the ground and picked up the wood.

"Almost there," Machi chuckled weakly, picking itself up off the ground and toddling after him. Something in its tone made Groose look down at it.

"You got something you wanna say?" he asked a little suspiciously.

Machi stopped and shifted shyly from foot to foot. "Well, um..."

"Come on, spit it out."

"Well, the forest is pretty dangerous this time of day. And I'm just a little soul. I can't fight or run fast, and I'm not real good at hiding..."

The hint flew over Groose's head.

Machi decided to just ask. "Can I spend the night with you?"

"Oh." It finally registered. "Oh, no no no no. You'd just sleep on my face or pee on the ground or something. I don't want a roommate. The Groose needs his chill space." He neglected to mention that the Groose's chill space was a softish patch of grass outside the back door of the temple. He constantly woke up in the night, sweating, certain that the Imprisoned was watching him sleep.

Machi looked heartbroken. "Why not?"

"Didn't you listen? I need my space." He sniffed dismissively. "Go spend the night with your friends."

"I can't get back there on my own! I'd get eaten!" Machi wailed. "Can you at least walk me back?"

Groose sighed. "Yeah, yeah. But you're not spending the night here."

Machi sniffed dejectedly and allowed itself to be slung over Groose's shoulder.


End file.
